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Chexy's Saturday Matinee

Here's Czech singer Ondřej Havelka and his Melody Makers with "Beat Me, Daddy, Eight to the Bar."



Here's Fred Astaire (with Fred Clark) in "Daddy Long Legs." Nice furniture!




James Brown... Papa's Got a Brand New Bag! From Shindig!




Beat Me Daddy, another way. Here's Maurice Rocco. The dancer is Mandy Lee.

Lakers Are a Girl's Best Friend

Dyan Cannon, as she appeared after the Lakers win on Thursday, and Carol Channing.

So alike, only one married a gay icon and one is one.

ty SL

Are You Undateable?

"311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex" is now in print.

Here are a few of them.

Flesh-Tone Lipstick Fail, Part 3484

Babs, can ya hear me? That lipstick isn't working! I mean, I can forgive the spackled base, but please!

That's how Streisand looked on the red carpet last night for stepson Josh Brolin's "Jonah Hex" movie premiere.

And it's time to cut that hair. Thanks, and have a great weekend! Tune in tomorrow for Chexy's Saturday Matinee!

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Ten Words You Need to Stop Misspelling

from The Oatmeal

Happy Birthday, Roger Ebert

Two thumbs up for cancer survivor Roger Ebert, who turns 68 today. He also survived shtupping Oprah.

The Megan in Red

Megan Fox was snapped from one of her better angles... at last night's premiere of Warner Bros.' "Jonah Hex" at the ArcLight Cinerama Dome in Hollywood.

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Original Queen of All Media Honored

The endlessly fabulous Ruta Lee (left) embraces grandmother of gossip Rona Barrett (allegedly 73) at the Paley Center for Media in Beverly Hills, which staged a tribute to Barrett, who now mostly attends to her business of growing lavender on her ranch near Santa Barbara for products that benefit charity.

Her 1974 autobiography, "Miss Rona," began with this sentence:

"Just an inch, Miss Rona, just let me put it in an inch!"

Michael Tullberg/Getty Images

Carla in London

First Lady of France, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy manages to find the camera as she and her Napoleon-sized husband Nicolas and Prince Chuck find their way to a statue of Charles de Gaulle in London, where they laid a wreath to commemorate de Gaulle's broadcast to Nazi occupied France on June 17, 1940, in which he declared himself the leader of the "Free French," which went on play a key role in defeating the Germans.

The full text of de Gaulle's speech is inscribed in a plaque on the Arc de Triomphe in Paris:

"The leaders who, for many years, have been at the head of the French armies have formed a government. This government, alleging the defeat of our armies, has made contact with the enemy in order to stop the fighting. It is true, we were, we are, overwhelmed by the mechanical, ground and air forces of the enemy. Infinitely more than their number, it is the tanks, the airplanes, the tactics of the Germans which are causing us to retreat. It was the tanks, the airplanes, the tactics of the Germans that surprised our leaders to the point of bringing them to where they are today.

But has the last word been said? Must hope disappear? Is defeat final? No!

Believe me, I who am speaking to you with full knowledge of the facts, and who tell you that nothing is lost for France. The same means that overcame us can bring us victory one day. For France is not alone! She is not alone! She is not alone! She has a vast Empire behind her. She can align with the British Empire that holds the sea and continues the fight. She can, like England, use without limit the immense industry of the United States.

This war is not limited to the unfortunate territory of our country. This war is not over as a result of the Battle of France. This war is a worldwide war. All the mistakes, all the delays, all the suffering, do not alter the fact that there are, in the world, all the means necessary to crush our enemies one day. Vanquished today by mechanical force, in the future we will be able to overcome by a superior mechanical force. The fate of the world depends on it.

I, General de Gaulle, currently in London, invite the officers and the French soldiers who are located in British territory or who might end up here, with their weapons or without their weapons, I invite the engineers and the specialized workers of the armament industries who are located in British territory or who might end up here, to put themselves in contact with me.

Whatever happens, the flame of the French resistance must not be extinguished and will not be extinguished. Tomorrow, as today, I will speak on the radio from London."

France was occupied by the Germans for over four years. Paris was liberated August 25, 1944.

Ian Gavan/Getty Images

Lakers Win!

L.A. Lakers Win the World Championship!

Royal Ascot, Day 3 -- Ladies Day

Princess Anne, the Princess Royal, wore this endlessly hideous dress (I use the term loosely) to Royal Ascot Ladies Day today, looking like the mother of a Mississippi Bat Mitzvah girl, or one of Lady Gaga's handmaidens, or a mascot for Yoo Hoo... (stop me).


Other attendees included Joan Collins in some leftover "Dynasty" shoulderpads...


and Betty Deuce... in her salute to Gay Pride Month! (They don't call her Queen for nothing.)


Stuart Wilson/Getty Images

My Kingdom for a Horse

Princes William and Harry arrive on horseback to visit a child education center in Lesotho.

A hot photo ruined by douchey woolen caps, a trend that should have died about the time Kurt Cobain did. But the flooring is great.


Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Amy and the Lesbian Drama

My imaginary daughter Amy, 6, really got into it this past weekend at Gay Pride.

Amy went again this year with Jean and Lynnae, who typically celebrate their sisterhood by having an argument, breaking up, and getting back together again two days later with an emotional display usually seen in such refined dramas as "Melrose Place."

"Lynnae called Jean bipolar. Is that where Santa lives?" asked my inquisitive little meat-eater as she microwaved a Lean Pocket.


"Yes," I lied. "What were they arguing about?"

"Lynnae wanted Jean to come to her birthday party, but Jean said Lynnae didn't respect her schedule, and Lynnae told her what mom used to say to you about 'go fuck yourself', and then Jean got all up in her stuff because Lynnae went shopping."

"Well, that's clear," I said, rolling my eyes far enough to nearly cause a retinal detachment. "Where did you go?"


"First we went to Hugo's, but we had to go home again because Lynnae was mad that Jean didn't take her lithimum, and Jean was mad because Lynnae asked this lady for a cigarette."

"Lith-E-um, darling," I corrected.

"That's what I said," she corrected. "Then Jean got a migrained."

I didn't correct her.

"So we had to go back to get Jean's medicine because Lynnae said she'd be a crazy beeyotch if she didn't take it. And then they were really quiet and Lynnae kept texting somebody, which made Jean even madder and she said we should go to breakfast without her and Lynnae was like, 'okay, whatevs', and Lynnae and I went to Coffee Bean. When we got back to Jean's, she was throwin' Lynnae's stuff off the balcony, and it was rainin' Xena comic books and a margarita machine and all these Jodie Foster DVDs."


She took a too-hot bite of her Lean Pocket and continued.

"And Jean was yellin' about Lynnae goin' to The Palms with her muffin and gettin' a tattoo or somethin' like that, I don't know what the hell they were talkin' about, and then this giant cardboard statue of Hillary Clinton was flyin' off the balcony, and then the cops came... two lady cops... and Jean got arrested for actin' crazy I guess. That's when mom came and got me and we helped Lynnae put her stuff in her truck."

"And what did you and mom do after that?"

"We went home and watched 'Real Housewives of New Jersey' on DVR."

Yes, I know, she's big for six.

Jew York

Stacy, aka Goldy Lox.



ty Ennie

Who Wants Chicken?

"Flipping Out" stars Jenni Pulos, the El Pollo Loco chicken, and bitch scream queen real estate flipper (yah, he flips, sure he does) Jeff Lewis at some fucksense called the Annual Grill Master Challenge in L.A. on Wednesday.

I'd prefer to see the grill master, who they dumped for that raggedy-ass weepy chicken.

David Livingston/Getty Images

Betty and Phil at Ascot, Day 2

Betty Deuce wowed the horsey set in this loud pink ensemble, for which she had one of her WWII issue lead-lined brassieres brought down from the Royal Collection in the Tower of London. Other mad hatters at the races included these gems:




Oh, to be in England.

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Celebrating Gay Pride Month

For all you Lebanese girls out there in Chexyland. Except you, bitch.

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In a Perfect World...

No, that's not the outside of your Chexy's house... that's a sidewalk somewhere in Cannes. Love it!

ty Bob

J.Lo Still Has It

Jennifer Lopez shows that she's still got it -- at the Four Seasons of Hope Gala at Cipriani in New York City, but to be fair, this shows her at her best angle.

Kevin Mazur/WireImage for Samsung

Betty Deuce at Ascot

Betty and Phil rode in style at the first day of the Royal Ascot races, where her majesty wore a subdued turquoise bonnet. I wish she would have worn this lady's hat! Fabulous!


And here's English footballer Michael Owen, high-hatting it.


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Twitter Fail Whale in Gulf

from ecoterrorist.tumblr.com

Gabby's Mama Could Get Big Break

The exquisite Gabourey Sidibe has just informed her Facebook followers that her mother, Alicia Tan Ridley, will be appearing on tonight's episode of "America's Got Talent."

Here's a clip from Bossip that shows mama singing in the subway.




ty J.Lo

The Britneyfication of J.Lo

Yup, that's former Fly Girl Jenny from the Block as she appeared last night at the Apollo Theatre event, looking moderately altered, again, wearing a weave that looks like it's been around the block a few times... near Sunset Blvd.

A good deal of Mrs. Anthony will be 41 in July.

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And Now This Dance Interlude

Courtesy of ExtraTV.com, here are some contestants from Oxygen's "Dance Your Ass Off."

Wash and Set Miss Jones

In what I believe is only her second public appearance since undergoing cardiac surgery in late March, Starlet Marie Jones, 48, appeared on the red carpet at the Apollo Theater Spring Benefit Concert on Monday... looking as fit as a griddle. Wearing a sporty new two-toned hairdo, Miss Jones ambulated without assistance in a pleated pink mini.

Jemal Countess/Getty Images

Hiss of Windsor

Prince Harry and Prince William kibbitz with an African rock python during a visit to Botswana today. I suppose that's what one does when they go to Botswana.

The Princes will also visit Lesotho and South Africa in support of their favorite charities... and then they'll stop in Cape Town to see England vs. Algeria in the World Cup.

The rock python rarely attacks humans, but the species can easily kill an adult by constriction.


Chris Jackson/Getty Images

Turban Tuesday: Royals in Nutty Hats, Part 863

The goyals, er, I mean royals, were at it again on Monday with their wacky millinery, as seen most plainly above with plain Princess Anne, the poor dear, whose only benefit of this chapeau is that it hides her unfortunate tresses.

The pomp and pageantry was part of the Order of the Garter.*


Even future Good King Willie looked like some Mardi Gras frat boy. However...


nothing can detract from the regal majesty of Betty Deuce!

*"The Most Noble Order of the Garter is an order of chivalry, or knighthood, originating in medieval England. The Order is dedicated to the image and arms of St. George as England's Patron Saint, and is presently bestowed on recipients from British and other realms; it is the pinnacle of the honours system in the United Kingdom. Membership in the order is limited to the sovereign, the Prince of Wales, and no more than twenty-four members, or Companions; the order also comprises Supernumerary knights and ladies (e.g., members of the British Royal Family and foreign monarchs). Bestowing the honour has been described as one of the Monarch's few remaining truly personal, executive prerogatives." --Wikipedia

Anwar Hussein/WireImage