Abu is Dead, Again

He's been reported dead at least twice before, now Al Qaida CFO Mustafa Abu is reportedly most sincerely dead after a drone attack in Pakistan, not to be confused with Kwik-E-Mart proprietor Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.

Nuke Your Coffee?

Do you like your coffee hot? Approximately 900,000 GE brand 12-cup digital coffee makers are being recalled, per the US Consumer Product Safety Commission and crap vendor Walmart.

The GE coffee maker can overheat, causing fire and burn hazards to consumers.

According to GE's website, they have "provided advanced and sophisticated technology for nuclear energy for over five decades. Four main product lines support this capability: new reactors, nuclear fuel, reactor services and performance services."

They can't make a goddamned coffee maker that doesn't blow up, and they're building nuclear reactors. Swell.

Happy Birthday, Hitler

Thanks to the genius of Mel Brooks, we have tap-dancing Nazis. Dick Shawn as the Fuhrer.

Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Deutschland is happy and gay!
We're marching to a faster pace,
Look out,
Here comes the master race!

No Blogging Today

Sleeping.

Heather Mills' Leg is Potential Threat

Britain's most unpopular amputee, former Beatle wife Heather Mills, was stopped at Heathrow Airport when her artificial leg required swabbing for explosives. There were none.

Heather has reportedly blown through the nearly $100 million settlement from her divorce from Sir Paul McCartney.

Adding insult to motorcycle injury, she was denied admission to Heathrow's First Class lounge.

She could sue, but she wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Try the veal.

Morgellons Disease

I read last night that singer Joni Mitchell is suffering from Morgellons Disease, which reportedly prevented the famous Canadian from performing at the Olympics.

This odd disease sounds like science fiction... it leaves painful sores all over the body. The sores ooze blue, black or red fibers, white threads and little black specks of sand-like material. Bizarre!

Most people report an itching, biting or clawing sensation, as though something were crawling under the skin. While the odd threads resemble some type of hyphae, a filamentous form of fungus, they are not natural.

Doctors don't know what causes the disease, who is at risk and exactly how many people may be suffering. One count has the number at 1,200, but The Morgellons Foundation fears the real number of infected people is much higher. Some patients are finding relief with either antibiotics and/or a form of colloidal silver -- also being used in treatment of MS.

The disease has an unusual geographic spread in clusters, large ones, which suggests that it may have some environmental or infective origin. The clusters are in California, Texas and Florida, with cases showing up elsewhere in the country and in the UK, France and Germany.

Since January 2008, the CDC has been studying Morgellons Disease, trying to establish the cause, which remains unknown, with theories ranging from deliberate chemical experiments to environmental toxins to psychosomatic origins.

The name comes from a condition involving "black hairs" emerging from the skin of children that was documented in France in the 1600s. It is unknown if it is the same disease.

Camilla's Eye Makeup Tutorial

Because so many of you haven't asked, I've decided to bring you this easy tutorial so you too can create Camilla's alluring look. First, get a load of that eyebrow. This can only be achieved by attempting to draw your line with an unsharpened Maybelline pencil and a hangover. Be sure to let your bangs drop over any mistakes.

The mascara is clearly a double coat, with the second applied to the first on the morning after the evening you applied the first. If you click on the pic to enlarge it, you'll see that the effect is dazzling. Any little crumbs of mascara can be smushed together and saved for reuse.

Try this look at home... you'll make your man feel like a prince!

Chexy's Cartoon Corner

See Cartoons by Jimmy Margulies
Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com
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Another Thing to Fix

Can't a guy catch a break?

While on vacation in Hawaii, President Obama took time out from his time out to address the nation's concerns about security lapses in the foiled plot to blow up a jetliner on Christmas.

The CIC said he'd get things fixed right away.

And then he went back to his vacation.

Feel better now?

Real Housewife

You know it's cold in Los Angeles when Khloe Kardashian has sprouted her winter fur... as seen outside of a cupcake place in Beverly Hills.

The makeup also keeps her warm.


David Aguilera/BuzzFoto/FilmMagic