Who's That Girl?

When you see that well-shod foot step out of a Jag, along with that purse and a pair of black gloves in June, it can only be one girl...


Betty Deuce! -- who busted out wearing blue and her favorite brooch this Sunday for some Queen's Cup Polo.



That diamond, ruby and sapphire brooch is known as the Cartier Flower Basket, given to Betty by her mother after she popped out Prince Charles.

Getty

Lindsay Lohan Not Going to Can

People just love to see lesbians in prison. I mean, look at all the hoopla there was when Martha Stewart was sent to the pokey for insider trading.



Now poor little drunk girl Lindsay Lohan has caused her SCRAM anklet to yell "I'm quitting this bitch" a reported five times. What's a gurl to do?



If you're LiLo, you call up a bail bondsman and post $200K to get the man off your back, so to speak, says TMZ.



Then you resume tweeting and shopping as though nothing had ever happened.



La la la la la la la la la la la la ... la la!

Chexy's Sports Roundup: David Arquette

Lakers 128, Suns 107, David Arquette 0, Arizona, 0.

Arquette, a former wrestler, was knocked to the ground while attempting to assist a security guard who was trying to prevent an avid fan from entering the court at the end of the game.

Courtside seats go for $3,700 and up. The games are also televised. People yell at their televisions as if the players can hear them, one of the dumbest fuckin' things in the world.

The New One Hundred Dollar Bill

The new one hundred dollar Bill, revealed by the US Treasury today.

You can see Bill Gates* on tonight's "Idol Gives Back," where he'll be making a surprise announcement. Perhaps he's buying Africa.

*Gates has an estimated net worth of $53 billion, the second wealthiest man in the world. (First is Carlos Slim of Mexico.)

Heather Mills' Leg is Potential Threat

Britain's most unpopular amputee, former Beatle wife Heather Mills, was stopped at Heathrow Airport when her artificial leg required swabbing for explosives. There were none.

Heather has reportedly blown through the nearly $100 million settlement from her divorce from Sir Paul McCartney.

Adding insult to motorcycle injury, she was denied admission to Heathrow's First Class lounge.

She could sue, but she wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Try the veal.

Boob Tube Boob's New Boobs to Debut

Surgically revised Christian reality ho Heidi Montag apparently DOES have a thought in her head. And that thought is money. She's headed back to Playboy to fake-show her newly inflated DDD breasteses to the dwindling readership of the magazine, who've abandoned still pic tits for free online porn... which moves. (click pic to further enlarge her already enlarged gazongas)

InTouch is reporting the story, saying she's set to collect a seven-figure sum. And before she's through, she will probably have had seven figures.

Ba-zoink!

People

Corporate Shake-Up

Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Michael Jeffries*, 65, and Master Shake from "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" after extensive Guatemalan plastic surgery (on Master Shake).

So alike, yet only one was created by Dr. Weird. (I think.)

*The Corporate Library named Jeffries as the "Highest Paid Worst Performer" of 2008, after he received a compensation package valued at $71.8 million. Jeffries refused to lower prices or offer discounts at Abercrombie & Fitch stores during the retail recession until September, 2009, after the company posted same-store sales losses for 17 consecutive months. (Wiki)

By Chexydecimal Arizona Correspondent Cabot