Burlesque on Carmen

Carmen Electra and a pair of interesting spheres... at the A Time For Heroes Celebrity Picnic sponsored by Disney to benefit the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric Aids Foundation.



John Shearer/Getty Images

That's Where You'll Find Me

Ninety-year-old "Wizard of Oz" Munchkin Jerry Maren, a wax figure of Judy Garland (who would have turned 88 tomorrow if she hadn't died of a barbiturate overdose in a London bathroom in 1969), lemon-drop delicious child star Margaret O'Brien, 73 (who worked with Judy on "Meet Me in St. Louis" in 1944), and Judy's rarely seen son, Joey Luft, 55.

Gay Pride Month Tidbit: It was the funeral of Judy Garland that mobilized gay unity, leading to the Stonewall Riots against persecution in NYC.

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Warm, Touchin' Warm

Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg, 52, at last night's CFDA Fashion Awards gala, and her mother, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, in 1991 at 62.


And her aunt, the late Eunice Kennedy Shriver, in her 80s.


Mrs. Schlossberg, below center, with her children (l to r) Rose, Tatiana and Jack Schlossberg, in August 2008 at the Democratic National Convention.


Forty-two years ago today, Caroline's uncle, Robert F. Kennedy, was buried at Arlington.

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LIFE/David McGough
Paul J. Richards/Agence France-Presse/Getty Images

Ricky

Ricky Martin, father of two, as seen last night at the 2010 amfAR New York Inspiration Gala at the New York Public Library, where the "Livin' La Vida Loca" singer was honored for his foundation's philanthropic contributions to the health and welfare of children around the globe.

This was one of Ricky's first appearances since he announced that he's gay.

The evening's festivities were marred by the appearance of designer Thom Browne in this highly unfortunate outfit, which I will call a shmucksedo.


Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images

Wild Horses

Mick Jagger ex Jerry Hall (with their daughter, Georgia May Jagger) at the London launch of their new cosmetic line Invisible Zinc... and My Little Pony.


So alike, and yet only one got $25 million for 9 years with Mick.

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It's Raining, So Bring on the Dancing Kids

Child star Jane Withers as she appeared last month at the TCM Film Festival in Hollywood... and below in 1935's "This is the Life."

Putz

Woody Allen, as seen above at Cannes this weekend, says that Roman Polanski has paid a high price for his actions in a 1977 child sex case and that "enough is enough."

Allen, whose affair with his pseudo-stepdaughter, Soon Yi Previn, was revealed in 1992 when his girlfriend, Mia Farrow, found nude pictures of her in Woody's apartment. Soon Yi was 22. Woody was 56.

Farrow adopted Soon Yi from South Korea when Yi was 8. Woody and Soon Yi married in 1997. They have two adopted daughters.

Woody had one biological son with Farrow, Satchel Ronan O'Sullivan Farrow, now known as Ronan Farrow, a child prodigy who graduated Bard College at age 16. He has been estranged from Allen since his parents' separation.


Ronan is serving as Special Advisor to the Obama administration on humanitarian and NGO affairs, focusing on Afghanistan and Pakistan.

"Rose Marie to Block"

Baby Rose Marie, age 6, during her vaudeville years, and last night at age 87, during a reception at The Hollywood Museum, where she is not an exhibit.


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Greg Kinnear and Katie Holmes to Play Jack and Jackie

It was announced Wednesday that versatile Greg Kinnear and the lovely independent spirit Katie Holmes will play John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Kennedy (seen above on a 1963 trip to Dallas) in the History Channel’s 2011 eight-hour mini-series, The Kennedys. Joel Surnow, creator of 24, will produce with already controversial scripts from filmmaker Robert Greenwald, who will reportedly limn Jack as the playboy that he was.



Oh, this is going to be wonderful.


Caroline Kennedy has already said she is outraged because JFK will be portrayed as a "sex maniac." And who to play Caroline as a child?


Suri Cruise?! Oh, I hope so!

Who will play JFK's favorite mobster moll girlfriend, Judith Exner?



I vote for Monica Lewinsky! I'm smellin' Emmys!

Can We Baa?

HSN huckster Joan Rivers as she appeared last night at the opening of "Promises, Promises," and Shari Lewis' puppet, Lamb Chop.

So alike, and yet only one requires human assistance to move her face.

Suri Knows All

Suri Cruise, as seen on a Greenwich Village street on Saturday, exquisite in butterflies and bunny ears, notices the dead expression of the cult on Katie Holmes' face, and checks her mother's jugular for a pulse.

Collateral

These tragic photos of Katie and Suri (with a handler close behind) were shot during a shopping excursion on Thursday in New York. Fashionplate Suri starts a new trend with her fuzzy bunny slippers for daywear. Expect to see this on Paris runways next season. Suri has the look of dread and desire to escape that I feel each time I see a picture of the two.


Katie's face shows the horrid effects of cult life; and still, she manages to care for her young.


Pray for them.

Camilla -- Kids Know Everything

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, gets the stank eye from a kid at Melcombe Primary School during a charity event in Hammersmith.

You can see how thrilled the other children are to see her.

Arthur Edwards/WPA Pool/Getty Images

Purple Passion

Oscar nominee Gabourey Sidibe at last night's NAACP Image Awards, and Barney the Dinosaur.

So alike, and yet only one loves me.

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Amy and the First Lady

My imaginary daughter Amy, 6, had a very rough day at school, with kids teasing her about being part of Michelle Obama's campaign against obesity in children.

"Am I obese, Ricky?" she lamented, while reaching for a celery stick. "Am I like Maury Pobitch fat?" She refuses to get his name right.


Amy has had a slight weight problem since she was 2, exacerbated by her recently blonded mother Carolyn's insistence on viewing the food pyramid as a tourist attraction. As you can see by Carolyn's expression, the Nile is, indeed, a river in Egypt.


"No, you're not obese, honey," I lied. "I like to think of you as delicious," which she is. "But you could follow the rules and eat sensibly," I paternally added.

"I'm thinking of going on a diet," she said, "because Mrs. Obama thinks I'm fat. At least I'm not stupid like those kids who say I'm obesity." She had an excellent point there, and I didn't have the heart to correct her usage.

"I mean, look at this cute outfit I have on!" I couldn't deny that her socks, faux tats and Converse were precious. Yes, I know, she's big for six.


She trundled off to her room to write Michelle Obama a letter. Here it is:

Dear Michelle First Lady,

My name is Amy. I'm 6. I'm sorry I'm so fat, but I'm big for six. I will try to lose weight. I think you are very beautiful. My imaginary friend Delilah is going to help me. Oh, and Ricky too.

Love,

Amy Elaine

P.S. Can Sasha and Malia come over sometime? My dad will make something not fattening.


Just after I finished reading it, Carolyn blew the horn (she can't come in per the court order). Amy grabbed her things and went outside to Carolyn's VW Jetta, where, as I watched from the window, she was handed a bag of food from Carl's drive-thru, which Amy refused!

Thank you, Mrs. Obama!


'Maury' Illustration by Rev. Josh of Life Without Taffy, from Chexy's collection.

Chexy's Saturday Matinee

Happy 93rd (I think) birthday to Zsa Zsa Gabor. You can really get a good idea of her acting talents from this trailer for 1958's "Queen of Outer Space."

No tribute to Zsa Zsa would be complete without this 6-second clip, also from "Queen of Outer Space."



Okay, grab your wigs and false eyelashes and Miracle-Gro dresses... here's Dusty Springfield from 1967 with "I Wish You Love."

Furry Fun

A kid hugs the Cookie Monster (in blue) at the Garden of Dreams Foundation event to celebrate the temporary renaming of the corner of 31st St. and 8th Ave. in NYC as "Sesame Street," and the live theatrical production of "Sesame Street" opening at Madison Square Garden.

Stan Honda/AFP/Getty Images

It Looks Like Justice

Millionaire twin child star Mary-Kate Olsen, and famous lady justice Sandra Day O'Connor.

So alike, in about twelve years.

Camilla -- The Magic Touch

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, greets a child at a tea party for children at the Ty Hafan Hospice in Wales.

The child had been fine until he saw Camilla's hair.

Kirsty Wigglesworth WPA Pool/Getty Images

Chexy's Saturday Matinee

Grace Jones does Pee-wee Herman, Christmas, 1988.



The Three Tenors singing Jingle Bells. Yup.



Someone recently asked for some Doris Day... here she is with a pine cone hairdo, shot through linoleum for her 60's TV show, singing Silver Bells. Cameo by Billy De Wolfe.




Here's Nat King Cole in 1961 with The Christmas Song.