The Megan in Red

Megan Fox was snapped from one of her better angles... at last night's premiere of Warner Bros.' "Jonah Hex" at the ArcLight Cinerama Dome in Hollywood.

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Original Queen of All Media Honored

The endlessly fabulous Ruta Lee (left) embraces grandmother of gossip Rona Barrett (allegedly 73) at the Paley Center for Media in Beverly Hills, which staged a tribute to Barrett, who now mostly attends to her business of growing lavender on her ranch near Santa Barbara for products that benefit charity.

Her 1974 autobiography, "Miss Rona," began with this sentence:

"Just an inch, Miss Rona, just let me put it in an inch!"

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Carla in London

First Lady of France, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy manages to find the camera as she and her Napoleon-sized husband Nicolas and Prince Chuck find their way to a statue of Charles de Gaulle in London, where they laid a wreath to commemorate de Gaulle's broadcast to Nazi occupied France on June 17, 1940, in which he declared himself the leader of the "Free French," which went on play a key role in defeating the Germans.

The full text of de Gaulle's speech is inscribed in a plaque on the Arc de Triomphe in Paris:

"The leaders who, for many years, have been at the head of the French armies have formed a government. This government, alleging the defeat of our armies, has made contact with the enemy in order to stop the fighting. It is true, we were, we are, overwhelmed by the mechanical, ground and air forces of the enemy. Infinitely more than their number, it is the tanks, the airplanes, the tactics of the Germans which are causing us to retreat. It was the tanks, the airplanes, the tactics of the Germans that surprised our leaders to the point of bringing them to where they are today.

But has the last word been said? Must hope disappear? Is defeat final? No!

Believe me, I who am speaking to you with full knowledge of the facts, and who tell you that nothing is lost for France. The same means that overcame us can bring us victory one day. For France is not alone! She is not alone! She is not alone! She has a vast Empire behind her. She can align with the British Empire that holds the sea and continues the fight. She can, like England, use without limit the immense industry of the United States.

This war is not limited to the unfortunate territory of our country. This war is not over as a result of the Battle of France. This war is a worldwide war. All the mistakes, all the delays, all the suffering, do not alter the fact that there are, in the world, all the means necessary to crush our enemies one day. Vanquished today by mechanical force, in the future we will be able to overcome by a superior mechanical force. The fate of the world depends on it.

I, General de Gaulle, currently in London, invite the officers and the French soldiers who are located in British territory or who might end up here, with their weapons or without their weapons, I invite the engineers and the specialized workers of the armament industries who are located in British territory or who might end up here, to put themselves in contact with me.

Whatever happens, the flame of the French resistance must not be extinguished and will not be extinguished. Tomorrow, as today, I will speak on the radio from London."

France was occupied by the Germans for over four years. Paris was liberated August 25, 1944.

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Lakers Win!

L.A. Lakers Win the World Championship!

Royal Ascot, Day 3 -- Ladies Day

Princess Anne, the Princess Royal, wore this endlessly hideous dress (I use the term loosely) to Royal Ascot Ladies Day today, looking like the mother of a Mississippi Bat Mitzvah girl, or one of Lady Gaga's handmaidens, or a mascot for Yoo Hoo... (stop me).


Other attendees included Joan Collins in some leftover "Dynasty" shoulderpads...


and Betty Deuce... in her salute to Gay Pride Month! (They don't call her Queen for nothing.)


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My Kingdom for a Horse

Princes William and Harry arrive on horseback to visit a child education center in Lesotho.

A hot photo ruined by douchey woolen caps, a trend that should have died about the time Kurt Cobain did. But the flooring is great.


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Amy and the Lesbian Drama

My imaginary daughter Amy, 6, really got into it this past weekend at Gay Pride.

Amy went again this year with Jean and Lynnae, who typically celebrate their sisterhood by having an argument, breaking up, and getting back together again two days later with an emotional display usually seen in such refined dramas as "Melrose Place."

"Lynnae called Jean bipolar. Is that where Santa lives?" asked my inquisitive little meat-eater as she microwaved a Lean Pocket.


"Yes," I lied. "What were they arguing about?"

"Lynnae wanted Jean to come to her birthday party, but Jean said Lynnae didn't respect her schedule, and Lynnae told her what mom used to say to you about 'go fuck yourself', and then Jean got all up in her stuff because Lynnae went shopping."

"Well, that's clear," I said, rolling my eyes far enough to nearly cause a retinal detachment. "Where did you go?"


"First we went to Hugo's, but we had to go home again because Lynnae was mad that Jean didn't take her lithimum, and Jean was mad because Lynnae asked this lady for a cigarette."

"Lith-E-um, darling," I corrected.

"That's what I said," she corrected. "Then Jean got a migrained."

I didn't correct her.

"So we had to go back to get Jean's medicine because Lynnae said she'd be a crazy beeyotch if she didn't take it. And then they were really quiet and Lynnae kept texting somebody, which made Jean even madder and she said we should go to breakfast without her and Lynnae was like, 'okay, whatevs', and Lynnae and I went to Coffee Bean. When we got back to Jean's, she was throwin' Lynnae's stuff off the balcony, and it was rainin' Xena comic books and a margarita machine and all these Jodie Foster DVDs."


She took a too-hot bite of her Lean Pocket and continued.

"And Jean was yellin' about Lynnae goin' to The Palms with her muffin and gettin' a tattoo or somethin' like that, I don't know what the hell they were talkin' about, and then this giant cardboard statue of Hillary Clinton was flyin' off the balcony, and then the cops came... two lady cops... and Jean got arrested for actin' crazy I guess. That's when mom came and got me and we helped Lynnae put her stuff in her truck."

"And what did you and mom do after that?"

"We went home and watched 'Real Housewives of New Jersey' on DVR."

Yes, I know, she's big for six.